Allison and Melissa Marie Green (MILLIONAIRES),
I remember the first time I fell in love with you. 2007, the summer before I started high school, my best friend’s Myspace page. Alcohol played on a hidden media player and I could not for the life of me figure out how to find your music page to steal you from her. She told me who you were eventually, and after that it was over.
The first time I saw you was in Pontiac at the Crofoot, ninth grade, the first concert I begged to be apart of. That was the night that really hooked me. I had been jamming to your tunes for about a year and you girls were everything that I wanted at the time. Being in the audience made me happier than I can remember being before that night. Allison grabbed my hand while she crooned to me, and I died a little inside. Then, by some magical stroke of luck (in my inexperienced concert-goer eyes) you decided to hang around and meet-and-greet. I remember Allison in her then-signature jersey, Melissa in that red dress, Dani was in a fedora. Melissa snuck away before I could meet her, but Allison and Dani and I took pictures and spoke for a while.
Since, I’ve been to every show that I could (every single one in Michigan) and I’ve religiously kept your music on my numerous phones/iPods/computers. I’m subscribed to your Facebook and Twitter updates because I’d hate to miss anything important… And then you announced your final tour.
Your music has never been just about partying or sex or alcohol to me, it’s always been about being free, being who you want to be. ‘DGAF’ was more than an acronym or a slogan, it was a lifestyle I adopted. I’ve told you both numerous times how important that was for me. I grew up in a small, republican-heavy, judgemental town as a genderqueer anomaly. Listening to you, seeing you be/do what you wanted without ever once stopping to think what people thought about you was absolute inspiration. And it never stopped.
You were the people I needed to carry me through my formative years, a constant reassuring voice telling me I could be what I wanted without fear, even if I was afraid. And when I needed someone to be there, you both were. I remember once on formspring Allison offered your backyard and a fort after I sent in an ask telling her I had been kicked out. It obviously wasn’t a realistic offer, but the fact that she took the time to show that she was supportive meant the world to me. Back when you guys were working with Marialia, Melissa contacted me to make sure I wasn’t upset after the feud because I had befriended her. What other musicians do that for fans?
I’ve never really been the best fan, I don’t send things to you or do the kind of promoting that I should. I had some drama with other fans that I’m sure you never appreciated, but even when I messaged you guys to make sure you didn’t hate me you maintained that there were no harsh feelings… And honestly, I’ve never felt like a fan. After the numerous birthday wishes, @ replies, the ease of conversation and the mutual happiness when we meet after every concert has made me feel like a friend.
Not to mention the friends I’ve gained in your audiences. So many people united by your voices. I met the only person I’ve ever truly loved at one of your shows. I never would have encountered him if it weren’t for you two, and whether it worked out or not, that piece of my heart would never have been filled without you.
And now, after eight years of backing you, you’ve decided it’s time to end MILLIONAIRES. I’m absolutely heartbroken, and yeah, I feel a little betrayed. But I don’t want you to ever feel like I’m angry about it. I want you both to know that after everything you’ve done for me, after making me feel like part of a family, after inspiring me and leading me to become the person I am today, I will forever be in your debt. And whether you need me or not, I will always, always be behind everything you girls do.
I know you have good reason to call it quits, and I have no right to question that decision. But, I love you both, and I will sincerely miss seeing you at shows, waiting for new music, bringing new friends to see this part of my life up close and personal.
So, I want to say my goodbyes to MILLIONAIRES. You will always be present in my ears and in my heart.
To ‘my’ girls : please continue to do amazing things. Together or separate, you are incredibly intelligent, strong women. I will never expect anything less than great from you. And don’t disappear altogether, I don’t want to lose the music AND the geniuses behind it.
I love you both.