What Crepe, Je T’Aime

This past Sunday I lost one of the most important aspects of my life. The restaurant that I worked at closed without warning. The news came at the end of a soul-crushing shift and several months of non-stop work weeks liberally sprinkled with hive inducing stress. Three days later, I’m still in a state of shock and wandering through my days as if through a field of fog.

You’d think that the end of such a mentally and emotionally exhausting experience would come with a sense of relief, be a breath of fresh air, etcetera etcetera. What no one, besides my now ex-coworkers, seems to understand is that I have lost an incredible community, even a family.

There are no words to describe the connection that my coworkers and I had and hopefully continue to have. Back of house, front of house, management, even ownership; we all banded together in a safe, supportive haven. The love that I have for each and every person is monumental.

My manager was (is) my mentor, my role model, even one of my best friends. The number of times that he was there for me, the support he provided to me, the things he’s taught me, the books he’s introduced me to: I can never ever be grateful enough for these things. I have never met a more selfless, ridiculous, adorable person. This is a man who has seen and done so much, has experienced so much hardship in his life; yet continues to be full of cheer and a thirst for knowledge, continues to help everyone he meets, continues to give of himself so much that sometimes I’m concerned he’ll give himself away completely. I am forever thankful that I met him, and I hope against all hope that we will stay friends for the rest of our lives.

All of the servers, hosts and SAs I’ve worked with this past year: you’re all incredible as is the kindness and patience and humour that you’ve all shown me and the company. May you all find your calling, may you all be successful and happy: I wish you only the best for the rest of your lives. You all deserve it. I love you all so dearly and I already miss your daily company.

Although I respect all the owners, I can truly say I love only one. I shan’t name names, but if you see this post you know who you are. You took in so many broken people and gave so much for our comfort and security, I can never be resentful that you left shortly before we closed. Fingers crossed that we’ll work together again someday, and if not, that wherever you find yourself you will be prosperous and satisfied.

All of my kitchen staff. God. I will never have that much fun working with a back of house staff again. Never again will I wander into a kitchen and feel so comfortable. I regret deeply that you seemed to get the short end of the stick so often, the amount of work and effort you put into taking care of us and our customers didn’t ever deserve to be repaid with such disrespect and disregard. We may have had our differences, but at the end of the day you were the engine in the car that we all loved and couldn’t bear to give up. I love you all, thank you for putting up with everything. I’ll miss the group smoke breaks.

The fact that I met my boyfriend at work deserves special mention. The fact that everyone from the top tier to the bottom was so supportive and accepting of our relationship deserves special mention. I don’t recommend shitting where you eat (my father’s wise words) but it worked out pretty well for us, I think. There were some awful times, there were some awkward times, but nothing beats having someone at work who will comfort you in times of stress with a hug and a kiss and a stupid joke.

Despite everything, despite all of the complaining that we did, and all the times we hated each other and hated our job, the people that I’ve met at What Crepe will always hold a special place in my heart. I can’t imagine finding a new job and not working with any of my wonderful staff again. But everything ends. It’s time to move on. Let’s stay in touch kids.

I love you.
Arina.

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For @THEMILLIONAIRES

Allison and Melissa Marie Green (MILLIONAIRES),

I remember the first time I fell in love with you. 2007, the summer before I started high school, my best friend’s Myspace page. Alcohol played on a hidden media player and I could not for the life of me figure out how to find your music page to steal you from her. She told me who you were eventually, and after that it was over.

The first time I saw you was in Pontiac at the Crofoot, ninth grade, the first concert I begged to be apart of. That was the night that really hooked me. I had been jamming to your tunes for about a year and you girls were everything that I wanted at the time. Being in the audience made me happier than I can remember being before that night. Allison grabbed my hand while she crooned to me, and I died a little inside. Then, by some magical stroke of luck (in my inexperienced concert-goer eyes) you decided to hang around and meet-and-greet. I remember Allison in her then-signature jersey, Melissa in that red dress, Dani was in a fedora. Melissa snuck away before I could meet her, but Allison and Dani and I took pictures and spoke for a while.

Since, I’ve been to every show that I could (every single one in Michigan) and I’ve religiously kept your music on my numerous phones/iPods/computers. I’m subscribed to your Facebook and Twitter updates because I’d hate to miss anything important… And then you announced your final tour.

Your music has never been just about partying or sex or alcohol to me, it’s always been about being free, being who you want to be. ‘DGAF’ was more than an acronym or a slogan, it was a lifestyle I adopted. I’ve told you both numerous times how important that was for me. I grew up in a small, republican-heavy, judgemental town as a genderqueer anomaly. Listening to you, seeing you be/do what you wanted without ever once stopping to think what people thought about you was absolute inspiration. And it never stopped.

You were the people I needed to carry me through my formative years, a constant reassuring voice telling me I could be what I wanted without fear, even if I was afraid. And when I needed someone to be there, you both were. I remember once on formspring Allison offered your backyard and a fort after I sent in an ask telling her I had been kicked out. It obviously wasn’t a realistic offer, but the fact that she took the time to show that she was supportive meant the world to me. Back when you guys were working with Marialia, Melissa contacted me to make sure I wasn’t upset after the feud because I had befriended her. What other musicians do that for fans?

I’ve never really been the best fan, I don’t send things to you or do the kind of promoting that I should. I had some drama with other fans that I’m sure you never appreciated, but even when I messaged you guys to make sure you didn’t hate me you maintained that there were no harsh feelings… And honestly, I’ve never felt like a fan. After the numerous birthday wishes, @ replies, the ease of conversation and the mutual happiness when we meet after every concert has made me feel like a friend.

Not to mention the friends I’ve gained in your audiences. So many people united by your voices. I met the only person I’ve ever truly loved at one of your shows. I never would have encountered him if it weren’t for you two, and whether it worked out or not, that piece of my heart would never have been filled without you.

And now, after eight years of backing you, you’ve decided it’s time to end MILLIONAIRES. I’m absolutely heartbroken, and yeah, I feel a little betrayed. But I don’t want you to ever feel like I’m angry about it. I want you both to know that after everything you’ve done for me, after making me feel like part of a family, after inspiring me and leading me to become the person I am today, I will forever be in your debt. And whether you need me or not, I will always, always be behind everything you girls do.

I know you have good reason to call it quits, and I have no right to question that decision. But, I love you both, and I will sincerely miss seeing you at shows, waiting for new music, bringing new friends to see this part of my life up close and personal.

So, I want to say my goodbyes to MILLIONAIRES. You will always be present in my ears and in my heart.

To ‘my’ girls : please continue to do amazing things. Together or separate, you are incredibly intelligent, strong women. I will never expect anything less than great from you. And don’t disappear altogether, I don’t want to lose the music AND the geniuses behind it.

I love you both.

Forever Yours,

Tucker.